from clerical to digital

Mediums:
"From clerical to digital"

If there was a before there must be an after

B3fore:

...still standing there,
on the rocks
waiting for what comes around...

bring it on...
i'm ready to face reality...
or not...

U walking away...

blind to all the calls
hiding from the obvious.
I love u... i love
the empty sound
of u walking away.

every hello...every step
it's all there...memories
knowing their smell
and echoes
in the empty halls...
empty feelings (of the unknown)

Have i ever felt before?
I think i met the empty silence,
that u leave behind.

U? I've never seen something
so yours... something so
likely, to become my next
obsession.

empty feelings,
empty thoughts.
Filling the pages
with miles
left behind.

Oblivious to the fact,
that it's all been written...
before... before i met u.

Another space... another
line filled with ink...
ink resembling pain
ink resembling blod.

Filling the vains
of empty pages.
Filling the obvious... to me
I can hear the sound
of your pain(pen) drawing
lines on the paper of my thoughts...
I miss u...

Most likely to be the one,
to be the one that's hidding...
To be the one that leaves
things behind.
So little; so lost; so mine.

I'm the one, who's going
to collect them. Even if I
never saw them i'm naming them
after you (thoughts)

And all their little stories
are running around in my
mind!

I'm giving them names
and feelings.
collecting them for
the trash of your: "forgetting
that they are there".

I give them life and the
power to kill (me)

The smell of u walking away.
the sound that u leave in my
memories!

Emptyness filling my
every need...
Filling my every thought
filling the empty spot of never
meeting your eyes...before!

nothing there...
empty pages repeating
as words...words that other
poets used to describe their
dreams... (that we steal)

empty thoughts...
repeating in cycles...
as days, as hours,
as empty moments
i've seen this before.
But why wasn't it so
white?
why does it slip away as thoughts,
faster than hands...
thoughts faster than the words
that should explain them.

I pause the pen of my
dreams (days)

How come i never met
myself, but I still
keep track of every dream
i met (I've seen)

Why I remember all
the things that hurt...
hurt the silence that
i seek in the empty
white days of
artificial loneliness

after all... we all look
for their happiness
that's created
by our own artificial (lonely)
happiness (thoughts of)

I want to be
the little prince
of my desires

I leane them their
little planets...
their little pieces of soil

and I watch them plant their
little flowers
watch them watering their thoughts,
watch their loves bursting in desires...

as mine IN TIME

i'm afraid of growing old;
without the child hood
memories of you.

After all their footsteps
are as this pen...
singing something
so unique
that it becomes magical
something so fragile
that it becomes dreams.

I never wanted to wake up...
i never wanted to be the one
that breaks the news
that you're gone!

I never wanted to be
the snake that poisons
my everything!

The little empty thought
that i hold in my hand...
pretending that "it"
hides everything that's real...

Pretending that i hide it...
Pretending that i cherish it
from the outside world.

But in the same moment
spreading my arms and hands
in the eternal hope
of seeing it grow...

i've raised the butterfly of desires...
developed (born)
in my artificial moments
of sublime beauty.

like a little child
hiding the naked truth...
as if it is about to run away.

Some old habit
same old line...

"I love u... u're the one
you are my eternity..."

My eternity of lies...
my eternity of the fire...
moments that i call
my life!
My five moments
of what i call: "reason to live"

So I lie to myself. So i
dream the dreams
that u fear...
I dream the dreams that u call reality.
The dreams that make u wake up
in the middle of the night
that u call life!

...but I still have to live it. I enjoy every little lie
that fills up it's moments...
I feel for the ones that mistake
lies_for_lifes.
I never said that i know the truth...but at least
I can lie and keep the smile on my face...
at least i can wake up being myself(ish) own


LIE!


What make the truth so
pure (white)?
Someone has to shut the sun.
Someone has to bring the night
in the empty reasons to live.

I' tired of hiding myself...
behind the reason for being
ME

Start the celebrations!
U ' re next... my next thought...
the one to keep me going
my next obsession.

Watch me here i came!
I feel for your lose of childhood.

___________________________________________________________________________


wrecking in my thoughts
women and children first
loosing touch, no more dreams
love it all for what it seems.

Gathering my dreams
before the empty sea screams
women and children first
haven seen it all...thrust

floating in the empty emotions
trying to survive in the wilderness
a long way to go home...
it's easy to die alone...

Fighting for each word
fighting to forget...
is it worth to swim?
is it worth to float on air?

___________________________________________________________________________


Another dream will cover all...
the rest
It still feels like lying on your
chest...
I still dream the dream
of building life.
of making u my dreaming soul mate
my wife

Another start...
announce a new beginning...
another (nerve) wrecking home
made memory...
I'm scared this time
No permanent marks to show
my friends...Just a made up story...

Bunkers of feelings...bags filled
with killer sand.
U'll never get me un prepared
(even if naked to your eyes)

a star full of hands
makes no sense...
if u can't touch the Sky
makes no sense if u don't know why!


Saving up thoughts creating chaos...
little numbers mixed with words...
spelling you...
spelling my life shouting out
a deaf scream
to a dying butterfly...
never felt so empty...
but at the same time
true to a new religion of
feelings...

still sinking...

throw the women
and children FIRST!

I've seen it all dying before!

after:

Scary scenes of goodbyes

Playful childe-like memories;
or were they just wishes?

Now i feel like i was spoiled
by the thought that u were
mine.
this time for good.

no more running around
it's done.
thanks god (if he exists)

been like a child far too long...
Have I really?

Sometimes without meanings or bad feelings

I gave u my heart
(a piece of it)
now i feel disable.
Like if one of my limbs
was missing
(is)

So again
they grow back u know.

But the scar is
always there.

That piece of
"overgrown MEAT"
that cover the emptiness...

That u leave behind.

But every new start for you was an end for me.
"We could really make it back in the old days you know..."

Writings on the empty walls
I built u a house...
Made of dreams
(every now and then i even spoke their language)
Or heard their cries

Every brick was a word...

or every wall a sentence...

that u gave a meaning to...

So look at me now. Scared
Stranded
disable

With the old
(new)
course of not being able to leave: " Stop the chariots i want to step down"

Emptiness was never so full[1]

Pages...
like sins
growing... big(ack)

does the meat grow so big becouse we want to fill the wound (empty) so bad? a good example of how i miss u...

I even miss the sound of leaves as they fall from the tree that they were shaken from. And it wasn't even fall... (the loudest white silence; that u were asking about...

that's the sound. I think u didn't hear it than

Never been able to actually know why,
every thing seemed so "there"
back than...

Now there's only disgust...

I'd even fall in love
with the slamming doors and
the shouts now.

Every whisper means
a new desire...

Every song speaks about us...
You
(was there ever a we?)

again...
Every foggy window
on the morning bus
has something
beautiful to tell.
Every face or line
reminds me of u!

And i still remind myself from time to time.

"most likely to be my next obsession"

Some people say that time heals all the wounds...
I believe that we just:
"forget the pain..."
and how it hurts to love somebody...

That sweet moment of sharp needle like pain...

I'll lie from now on!
every "I love u" will be
as "oh, it's raining today"

My little elevator speech...
Next please...
I've heard them all.

I'll lie but never to you.
Every time i'll be honest...

I love u
I do

No more hopes other than the wish that u'll come back...

Someday

Now i'm sitting on the last one...
Last bus home.
I never counted how
many times i'll be
left without you...

I screamed (i'm scared)

every morning realizing how and when all the things and dreams filled with hope turned into (childish games [poštevanka]
countdowns of bas lounch

Repeating like an old record.

Only this time it really hurts

No sadistic pleasures in faking the ache...
i was in love.

Every morning looks empty and fake
No more "I can't wait's
Just screams saying
please stop the time
Still hoping for a piece of eternity
with her.

Lovely emptiness...
Dying pride

I even claimed to make u my wife
the other half that's always missing.

The real me

The one, who doesn't believe in fake smiles.
Reading back old memories
written on a bar bill...

Let's develop a new disease.

I can feel your taste in my mouth.

It was sweet.

Day after day... Question after question...
Each ring brings an answer
A hope that u are here
('ll be)

again...
back...

Johnatan Doe was right... We call him John
I need t start screaming
if I want you to hear me...
Understand me...

again...

But even if...
at least i know i did almost everything in my power
or at least what was possible...

i stilL miss u.

have to go
danaja 2008
m e d i j i
[zrak]

"Od klerikalnega k digitalnemu"

[prevod teksta "From clerical to digital" danaja; 2008]

sponsored by:

glob(e)alko

Moje ime je _______________,

vsaj tako me kličejo oni. Oni, ki se smejijo. V bistvu jih sploh ne poznam. Tako kot ne Vas. Zakaj ste sploh prišli? Da slišite še eno [mojo] zgodbo. Včeraj sem v časopisu prebral naslov:



"nikoli nisem vedel, da živim,
dokler nisem umrl."



Kako sem torej lahko siguren, da sem sploh živ in ne samo neka igra domišljije. To vam pravim zato, ker sem doživel nekaj čudnih stvari.
Ura. Preobrat.

Predstavljam si šefa. V smešnih hlačah s čudno predstavo mojega življenja. Bodi urejen, počesan ... nasmejan. Jaz ga brez las pogledam:

"Nasmejan pristopi do človeka in mu daj vedeti, da je on človek, ki je spremenil tvojih naslednjih 15 min življenja in te naredil za boljšega človeka."

Vidiš sebe z nasmeškom, ki mu nebi verjela niti tvoja lastna mati, ko mu ponujaš smrt.


"Res gospod, ta je najboljša ( nasmeh, ki naj bi
pokazal, kako sem zadovoljen porabnik,
primeren za reklamo). Učinek zagotovljen
če ne umrete v naslednjih 15 minutah vam
vrnemo vaš denar za katerega ste garali
(sedeli tu?)."


Še ena ura mojega jutra je minila. Zamujam v službo. Danes kava odpade (stopam v Matrix).
Sedim v avtu; rosne šipe. Prva resnejša misel je pištola, da bi razredčil množico avtomobilov pred seboj. Že 13. dan dežuje...

Samo veselje. Povsod predvidoma nasmejani obrazki (predvidoma ker so premočeni pod dežnikom in jih zato ne vidiš v njihovi neverjetni nesrečnosti. Z nasmehom.

"Lepšega jutra si nisem mogel prestavljati. Vsaj izgovor bom imel, da sem slabe volje"


Primer 2.b. "Srečanje na cesti z neznancem":
(dan ___________)

Začetek: gentelman:
"Gospa, oprostite, Vam
lahko pomagam čez to
lužo. Še plašč vam
nastavim, da ne boste
stopili v blato:
Konec vaje.
(v kolikor te ni udarila
s torbico opravil.

Vaja 3: "Avtobusno železniške postaje"
(zgodba X)

Pogledi... Nikoli nisem srečal nikogar... in z njimi sem prisiljen deliti trenutke čakanja. Pregovorno so to najdaljši trenutki dneva:

"dolžina 10ih minut je odvisna od tega, na kateri strani toalete.si"

S pogledom premikaš kazalec. Najtežje vaje. Zadnje kaplje napora. Nekdo pogleda, kot da ve kaj počneš. Umakneš pogled.

Obkrožajo te:

a) človek, ki pijačo spravi v šumečo najlon vrečko, da se mu nebi polila. Ko pije, se nagne naprej, nosi srajco. Črna sinhronizirana s hlačami, horizontalne črte. Urejeni mokasini. Na podplatu žvečilni gumi, na njem cigaret.

b) skupina mladih. Popotniki; v kolobarje zaviti armaflexi. Stereotipni pogled skrivnostnih pogumnih popotnikov na neznani poti.

c) prijeten osebek ženskega spola, s katerim bi se ujela in bi ti jutro polepšala do mere, da bi postalo znosno. Ahhh.
jutranji flirt je bil vedno boljši od seksa.

A vendar upaš, da boš sedel sam. Sovražim slab smisel za humor (nočem poslušati svojih šal)

Pogovor:
a): " Kakšno vreme. Vročina... poletje je" (S hrbtom pokriješ okno sivine,
ki prodira skozi kaplje mestnega dežja).

b) " Oprosti" sledi zgodba, ki je seveda izmišljena in bi morala izgledati ql:

" Imaš mogoče vžigalnik?"

Magnifico

" Hitri avti... Bleščeče kočije"

c) sovražim delavce, ki se sprašujejo
kaj pomeni dolga brada (saj sem se obril
včeraj)

Gospod vstane. Si popravlja hlače, ker se je vlak ustavil. Kot, da ne ve,da bo padel, ko se bo vlak odpeljal prosti naslednji postaji, nazaj na stol. Ob vsem tem, pa še cigaret, ki mu štrli izpod čevlja.

Obnova "Nova razpredelnica":

- verjetno je inženir
- ne razume mladih
- ne boš opozoril, da
bi lahko padel, ko bo
vlak speljal.



Listening "Listening comprehention"
vaja za italijanščino

"In funzione di nessuna logica"

Carmen Consoli

vizualizacija trenutka:

- "... škoda, da je ni tukaj... ona bi razumela, kaj se dogaja.
Si bi zame z roko popravila lase?"

Osebna gledališka predstava. Hvaležnost razumne hvaležnosti
(ga sočustvovanja)

- "... na postajo me je vedno peljala z avtom. Bolelo je."


Carmen Consoli


" In funzione di nessuna logica"



Confesso l'ho fatto apposta nell'intento di ferirti ti sembrero' alquanto stupida sicuramente immatura

per tutte quelle volte in cui ho sentito l'istinto di abbracciarti per tutte quelle volte in cui ho creduto sul serio

di annullarti dalla mia testa annullarti dalla mia testa annullarti il tutto in funzione di nessuna logica ammetto ero al sicuro nel mio guscio di carta pesta
ho agito facendo in modo di non mostrare incoerenza
per tutte quelle volte in cui ho cercato di non assecondarti per tutte quelle volte in cui ho creduto sul serio
di annullarti dalla mia testa annullarti dalla mia testa annullarti

il tutto in funzione di nessuna logica il tutto in funzione di nessuna logica

Štiri reklame:



Ženska, ki nosi majico z napisom: "Silicon free" z namenom ,da bi promovirala feminizem, v bistvu pa poudarja to, da je njeno bujno oprsje naravno... Sirota lastne usode in prekletstva, da je lep(a)o grajena.
Hodeči plakat reklame: "...za samo sebe"


· Beograd z vlakom 25€
( spodbujanje ksenofobije)

" poceni, a kdo bo gledal tiste dol?"



V tem trenutku si je gospod na tvoji levi odstranil cigaret s podplata. " Verjetno je videl, kaj si obkrožil in se je zamislil.

Naključni mimoidoči nerodno pogleduje po svojem podplatu (verjetno misli, da govoriš o njem).

T-shirt majice:

zakaj smo postali jumbo plakati simbolizmov? Kdo mora natančno vedeti kateri ansambel je naš najljubši, kaj nosimo v hlačah, s kom se družimo [istovetimo], ali kaj jemo.
Kako lahko pokrijemo naše telo z namenom, da skrijemo našo zunanjost, propagiramo pa naše misli ali seksualno nagnjenje.

Vaja 1:

Izdelaj si majico po lastni izbiri
z uporabo svojih modelov
zakompleksanih pesnitev

Vaja 2:

Zna še kdo uporabljati algoritme?





Lastnik znakov


Malo se vzravnaš--- Postaja, ki opozarja, da boš videl kraj
kjer si jo spoznal. Zakaj ne dežuje?

Nekdo je napisal romantično pesem,
o vlaku, ki prihaja in piska v daljavi


" v bistvu je pa strojevodja (električnega vlaka)
trobil lepi gospodični na postaji. "

bog pomagaj kakšne debate.
po drugi strani pa o čem bi
govoril dve uri?





[1] Of thoughts about u